I have a great idea for a pay-per-view event. I think a televised debate between Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore could bring in millions. Since it's my idea, I think I deserve a modest fee, say $10 million. I don't care what they do with the rest of the money. Give it to charity, schools, strippers, whatever.
Think of it. It would certainly be an entertaining debate. Not only do they most likely disagree on everything, but they also each consider themselves the smartest man in the world. They are both big fat liars, so the truth woldn't constrain them. They'd be making up statistics and studies to support their views. Just imagine.
First Michael Moore quotes a Harvard study that proves inconclusively that having a Republican president increases your chance of dying in a car accident, then Rush counters with a Yale study that proves the Harvard data was flawed and in fact Spotted Owls, and untapped oil reserves actually cause cancer.. Plus MIT has stated conclusively that Michael Moore breathing causes global warming. They could go back and forth with made up 'proof' all night.
But wait there's more... We could increase interest and revenue by encouraging viewer participation. We set up a 900 number that costs $10. If you call in, for your $10 contribution you get to press a button that electrocutes one or both of them for 10 seconds. The best part would be when we teach them the penalty for not telling the truth. Obviously, they're going to lie constantly, but we'll be ready for them. Fact checkers will be in attendnce, and whenver a statement is proven to be false, they give a signal and the liar gets the shit kicked out of him. I know I'd pay to see that. Any ideas how we could make it better?
I want Emmit Smith to keep playing football. I want him to get to 20,000 yards. I've never been more frustrated and angry about football than when I was watching the way the Cowboys treated him this season. For the last few years, they've made it harder and harder to be a running back on that team. They haven't had a passing game at all so everyone cheated up stop the one weapon they had left, Emmit. Then this year, they were one of the worst teams in football on offense, and they made him split time with another back. He still almost broke 1,000 yards for the season, and I had to listen to people talk about him losing a step and having one of the worst years of his career. Yes, he failed to gain 1,000 yards for the first time since his rookie season, but that was completely a factor of the offense he was playing for. They couldn't do anything. Three different QBs during the season, no offensive line, and another back getting a lot of the carries, and he still was one good run away from breaking 1,000.
I'm thrilled that he found a team to play for that appreciates what he can do, and I'm happy that he'll be playing next year. That said, it will be very hard to see him in a Cardinals uniform. He's my favorite football player of all time, and seeing him play for a team I've never liked will make for interesting Sundays. For the first time ever, I'll be hoping for Arizona to spank Dallas.
There have regularly been more Cowboys fans in Arizona than Cardinals fans, and Emmit will be loved there. He'll be loved because he's a hard working football player, and a great running back. He's also a class act and always has been. He was loved in Dallas as much for his character as he was for is ability to play football. On a team filled with controversy and arrests, he was an example to everyone of what an athelete and a man could be. I figure he'll get around 1,200 yards rushing if they commit to the run. At 33, he's certainly got a few good years left in him. It'll be fun to watch even if he is wearing red and white. Good luck, Emmit.
Noah had is second grade play last night. They called it a play, but it was really just songs with a little speaking between them as an intro. No story or anything.. It was great, and he was great. He was in the chorus, and I kept trying to watch the kids front and center on stage, but I eventually gave up. All I wanted to do was watch my son sing. There was some choreography that went along with the songs, and Noah had it all down.
